5 Ways to be More Confident | InspirationIndulgence.com

“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.” – Mohadesa Najumi

I love this quote so much. I firmly believe that having confidence is one of the most powerful and beautiful qualities that a woman can have. A woman glows when she’s confident; she radiates positivity, strength, and belief in self.

It’s something we all strive for, yet having confidence is something that some women never achieve.

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I use to be the opposite of confident, even just five years ago. I was insecure, defined myself according to what others’ thought about me, and was constantly looking for validation wherever I could find it, mostly from men. I judged my worth according to what I looked like and strived to be perfect. However, no matter how much weight I lost, no matter how beautiful I felt on the outside, I still didn’t feel confident. There was something missing.

I love the concept of confidence because I truly believe that confidence is a women’s best accessory. Webster defines confidence as, “A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.” But I feel like confidence is so much more than this.

The closer I become to self-actualization, I now understand, because confidence comes from within. It does not come when you lose that pesky 10 pounds. It does not come when you date the man of your dreams. It does not come when you finally land your dream career. Confidence comes from the deepest and most darkest moments of your existence; the moments where you feel the least self-assured. Confidence is that voice telling you, I’m beautiful just the way I am. I am enough. I deserve to be loved because I am worthy.

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Confidence is the ability to love ourselves even though we know that we are not perfect.

Confidence is being fearless in pursuit of our dreams.

Confidence is putting on a smile even when we don’t feel self-assured.

Confidence, often times, is faking it till we make it.

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Today on the blog I’m sharing 5 tips for YOU to be more confident.

1.) Do what you love

When we do what we love, we are more likely to flourish because we are in our natural element. What is it that you love doing? Take some time to remind yourself why you love yourself, and what you are good at. For example, I love to write. Nothing boosts my confidence more than when I finish writing a piece that I worked ages on and sharing it with my loved ones. But remember, do what you love because you feel proud. Don’t look for that external validation. This is about YOU, not others.

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2.) Improve your posture

Believe it or not, studies show that those who sit up straighter and walk a little taller are more likely to be confident. Ever hear of the term “Fake it till you make it”? Try it out yourself! I’m not kidding you. Next time you are in a meeting, sit up straight and be mindful of your posture. It gives yourself the illusion that you are in more control.

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3.) Radiate positivity

This sounds so easy, but try being more positive! Limit the negative thinking out loud. Stop complaining. Think about possibilities, not limitations. It in indeed true that no body likes to be around a downer. When we over-use negative messages, our brain starts to normalize them and only think in that perspective. Change your thinking, change your perspective.

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4.) Capitalize your strengths; work on your weaknesses

Write down a list of things that you are good at, and a list of things that you feel you need to work on. Just being mindful of your weaknesses is one step closer to perfecting them. Being self-aware is the first step to self-improvement. For example, my strengths include that I am empathic, creative, great at looking at all sides of perspectives, and detail-oriented. However, I lack decision-making skills, have a hard time with confrontation, and tend to be the “Yes-Man.” Knowing what I need to work on is the first step to improving these lacks of skills.

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5.) Stop caring about what others think

For me, this one is the hardest one of them all. I can be in my element, feeling really great about myself, but when someone puts me down or makes me feel inferior, I close up. Caring about what others think will only prolong you from finding that inner-confidence. Take what others think with a grain of salt, and know that ultimately, only what YOU think matters. For example, when I first started the fashion portion of my blog, I had a girl make a remark to me in a rather condescending way, “So what, are you a model now or something?” I instantly felt stupid. In my head I thought, “I’m not pretty enough to be a fashion blogger” and “I don’t want others to think I’m trying to be a model. Maybe I should quit.” It took me a few days to bounce back from this comment, but once I did, it was freeing. And who knows? Maybe that girl wasn’t trying to be rude, maybe she thought what I was doing was cool! But in my head, I felt like everyone thought I was an idiot for starting a fashion blog.

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You are so worthy of love, but the first step is to love yourself. You have every right to be confident. Own it, babes.

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“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” – Steve Maraboli

Photos taken by my fabulous, sweet friend Kalli from Kallidoscope Photography! Find her on Facebook and Instagram!

What does confidence mean to YOU? Please leave me a comment below!

Xoxo,

Follow me on Instagram for more inspiration!

  • Great post! I’m so glad I read this first thing this morning. You are a very wise woman. I definitely struggle with #5- stop caring about what others think. It’s something I’ve actively been working on for at least several months now, but can’t seem to shake entirely. I look up to my husband so much for how he can be totally unconcerned with others’ opinions of him (though everyone loves him anyway) because he feels like there are only a select few whose opinions you should value. I always try to remind myself that if someone I barely know says something negative or critical, I shouldn’t assign any value to their comments, but I have to admit that it’s a struggle. What is helping me is pushing myself outside of my comfort zone and doing things that I know others may judge but that make me happy. I feel like the more you do that, the easier it becomes to put more stock in your own enjoyment of life than in what others think of what you’re doing. But that’s all I’ve got for ideas on how to overcome this barrier to confidence. Do you have any strategies you use to reduce the impact of other people’s opinions on your own self confidence? Thanks!

    • Hi Denise! Thank you so much for taking the time to type such a thoughtful comment. I definitely struggle with this at times as well, which is why I posted on my blog about this topic. To answer your question, I can give you an example of when someone’s opinion hurt my self-confidence, and what I learned from it. I was recently at a community event and saw an old girl who I went to high school with. As I walked past her, I said hi softly, and she gave me the stink eye. I mean, it was obvious, this girl had an apparent problem with me. At that moment, I felt very vulnerable, judged, and just plain icky. It bothered me the whole night, and nearly ruined my entire night out with friends. The next morning, I woke up and said to myself, “I’m not going to let her opinion shape how I think about myself.” I think that there just comes a point when you can either choose to let people’s words, thoughts, reactions, etc. hurt you, or help you grow to be the better person. I think that hurt teaches us many lessons! I hope that helps. XO

      • Good point! It really I s all about choosing to see that we are who we believe we are…not who other people believe we are! Thanks for the reply 🙂

      • Exactly! You hit the nail right on the head :) Of course!!

  • Theresa

    Great post. I really worried about my confidence when I was younger, but when I had kids I instantly cared less about what others thought.

    • I’m sure my confidence will increase when I have kids as well because my roles will change!

  • Love these tips. Especially sitting up straight and standing tall! It’s so easy to slouch and you may not even realize you’re doing it but if you mindfully sit up it really changes your attitude! I try to do this in interviews but even when I’m trying to get things done sitting up helps me focus more and feel motivated!

    • It really does help you feel more confident! I’ve been trying to be more mindful of my posture, even when I’m hanging out with friends!

  • Love this inspiration, you are amazing always, love coming to your blog and you look beautiful! I was very insecure in my twenties, now I am in my fifties..took years to turn it around, still have a way to go, but its a work in progress…have a wonderful Friday pretty girl! xo

    • Aw thank you, sweet Valerie! I am hoping that my confidence, like you, will get better in time! Happy weekend!

  • Great words of wisdom. I have struggled with confidence. Getting on stage and doing comedy has made me more vulnerable which I think has increased my confidence. And it helps that I’ve stopped worrying about what others think and just go out and do my thing.

    • Julie, that is so awesome that you do comedy on stage! Sometimes, getting vulnerable is how we combat our confidence issues the most.

  • Girl, you are absolutely gorgeous – on the inside and out!

    • Thank you so much, Katie <3

  • Kelsie Kleinmeyer

    Gah, these pictures are amazing! Love the dress, and you just look radiant! I love that you’re sharing your heart on this topic- it’s so true that we are so worth more than just the way our looks make us feel.

    • Thanks so much, sweet Kelsie! It’s a topic very dear to my heart.

  • Such great tips! The big one for me was to stop caring what others have to say.

    • It is so freeing once we do.

  • Annie Says

    It’s funny how everyone gives the same advice on this topic….
    I’m not saying your post is bad or that you’re wrong, it’s just an observation…

    • This is what I’ve learned to be best, with my personal struggles. I’m speaking from my heart.

  • I love all the photos here, so scenic….Its time to stop thinking about what others think…that I have to keep telling myself….

  • Rachel Golden

    Those pictures look so amazing! I love this outfit on you. But I completely agree about confidence. It’s such an important thing to cultivate, but it can be so difficult to get to the place you want to be. I usually go for the “fake it until you make it” and then work on the places that need work.

    • I feel like that is one of the most efficient ways to “feel” confident when you don’t!!

  • nailed it! I think #3 & #5 are key! Great post

  • Allie

    Yes to all of these! I think each one plays a huge role in your confidence, and all of which start and end with you. Side note: your photos are beautiful and you look absolutely stunning in them!

  • amaris

    This is so true! I wrote a blog about growing in confidence recently too. We have similar concepts. I’d love for you to take a look: https://crumbsandglamour.com/2016/07/22/from-little-lady-to-lady-boss/

    Thanks for sharing this! Xx

    • I’d love to take a look! tanks for sharing!!

  • Elizabeth Johnson

    LOVE THIS POST! The photos are beautiful, your outfit is amazing, you are gorgeous, and your words are spot on! Love, love, love!

    • Thanks so much, sweet girl!

  • Great post! Love the ‘do what you love’ portion. It’s so true!

    http://adoredbyalex.com

  • I love your posts. And your outfit is so beautiful!

  • I absolutely love love love this post! I totally agreee with the “Confidence is fake it till you make it.” I’m getting my Holistic Health Coaching certification and often times I get tripped up not feeling confident enough to take on clients. I have to reassure myself that everyone starts somewhere and goes through the same feelings. I have to feel confident and act confident, then I will find confidence. :)

    • Aw girl!!! You are exactly right; everyone has to start somewhere!! :) you got this!

  • Love this! And I leity sat up straighter reading the posture one! It’s such an easy fix, but something I often forget about!

    • I think that isn’t something that we ALL forget about (:

  • Such an inspirational post! thanks for sharing your story on how to be more confident, also love your outfit :)

  • Love this, love this, love this. You’re always so encouraging! Also, LOVE that top.

    • Thank you, sweetie. You are always encouraging too!

  • Jessica Bradshaw

    Yes. Yes. Yes!! A- You are gorgeous B- You are rocking that outfit C- I agree with every point completely. :) You do radiate positivity, beautiful girl.

    • Thanks, sweet Jessica. <3

  • Perfect timing reading this. Just finished an amazing book called The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman. The book goes into detail on Confidence and it is a great read. Check it out and looking forward to part #2 of this post :)

    • Oh my gosh. Totally have to read that!

  • Love your tips and that cute outfit!

  • Wow…I really needed to read this. Thank you for sharing your experiences and wisdom; I will definitely be working on my posture more in the next few weeks! :) -Kayla

    • I do too!! It’s not something that can easily be changed overnight.

  • Absolutely great post, truly inspiring, I love it, love your beautiful outfit as well, thanks for sharing, you look gorgeous!!!

    xxx

    http://www.supercarmission.com

    • Thank you so much, Nora!!

  • Such an empowering post! I love the tips. Especially the one about capitalizing on your strengths and improving your weaknesses. Self-improvement is so important!

    I feel like growing up and maturing helped me naturally become more confident. One day, I realized that nobody cares if my hair isn’t perfect or if my outfit doesn’t quite match (and if they do, so what?). Once I started to see that everybody is too busy worrying about themselves to care about my pesky fears, I started to live my life more freely. It’s a great feeling!

    • You are SO right, girl. In fact, I almost wrote a #6 that was “Guess what: People actually don’t care” LOL. I was definitely on the same wavelength as you, but thought it would be too harsh to write!

  • Beautiful post! It’s so hard for people not to care what others think, but I think it comes with time mixed with doing something you absolutely love to do. If you are passionate enough, the drive to do it will overpower the desire for others approval! Thanks for the great read <3

    • That is so true, lady!! LOVE THIS. :)

  • Brianna Wronko

    Wonderful post! Life is so much easier and better when you don’t care what others think. Also love your skirt!

    • Thanks so much, Brianna! and agreed. Life is so much more freeing.

  • Terryn Winfield

    Beautifully inspiring post Chelsea! I never think about posture!

    • Me neither! Time to make some changes! lol

  • So inspiring. I so need to work on my posture. I always love a post that focuses on encouraging others to be more confident. Such a hard thing to overcome! And that outfit is adorable! xx, E

    • Thanks so much, Elaine! :) I do my best. And yes, I never think about posture, so I’m trying to work on it!

  • Elizabeth

    Great inspirational post! And fake it till you make it really works – it’s how I’ve gotten through my career for the last 11 years. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll even stop feeling like I’m just faking it :)

  • Elise

    I love these tips! You radiate in these photos – i can tell you’ve been putting your own tips to good use! Thanks for spreading so much love :)

    • Aw that is such a compliment! Thank you, sweet girl.

  • Abby Grajewski

    Great post. I really need to work on all those things. I sat up a little taller as I read your post though!

    • Hehe glad to hear it’s working!

  • Angelle Marix

    This was an amazing post. These are all great tips. I also had to learn where true confidence comes from. I had to choose to change the way that I thought about myself and spoke about myself. Thanks for shring.

    xoxo,
    angelle
    http://www.dashingdarlin.com

    • Exactly. Sometimes, just changing the way we speak out loud to ourselves is a game changer!

  • Nazrin Miah

    How cute are the pictures you’ve taken!

    I love everything about this post, from the advice, to your choice of outfit, to the trees, to everything!

    http://www.shewillneverlose.com

  • Maggie Stewart

    the posture one is SPOT ON!! thank you for this post

    • Yes girl! We all need to work on it.

  • I love your point about capitalizing our strengths and working on our weaknesses. That’s the only way we will really be able to grow and improve.

    • Yes, this is my favorite point as well. Thanks for stopping by!

  • Adaleta Avdic

    What an incredible post. I am always for making others more confident & helping myself feel more confident too! xx adaatude.com

    • Thanks girl. I think that the world always needs a little more positivity!

  • Neely

    These are so great! I think having a positive attitude is key!

  • Could not love this more, Chels. And *you* radiate positivity always!

    Coming Up Roses

    • Thanks so much, sweet, sweet girl!!! XO

  • Great tips! My favorite was the posture tip, I always keep this in mind :))

  • Lisa

    This is something I need to work on, love these tips!

  • Zana Djakovic

    One of my fave posts Chels! Thanks for being such an inspiration babe! You rock! ❤

    • Thanks for stopping by, dear sweet Zana!

  • Chelsea Wales

    That k you for writing this! Confidence and loving yourself as you are is so important and sadly looked over in our culture. Xx, Another Chelsea in Wisconsin ❤

    • Aw, hey Chels! So happy you enjoyed the post. <3

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    We loved this post! Thank you.
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