“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.” – Mohadesa Najumi
I love this quote so much. I firmly believe that having confidence is one of the most powerful and beautiful qualities that a woman can have. A woman glows when she’s confident; she radiates positivity, strength, and belief in self.
It’s something we all strive for, yet having confidence is something that some women never achieve.
I use to be the opposite of confident, even just five years ago. I was insecure, defined myself according to what others’ thought about me, and was constantly looking for validation wherever I could find it, mostly from men. I judged my worth according to what I looked like and strived to be perfect. However, no matter how much weight I lost, no matter how beautiful I felt on the outside, I still didn’t feel confident. There was something missing.
I love the concept of confidence because I truly believe that confidence is a women’s best accessory. Webster defines confidence as, “A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.” But I feel like confidence is so much more than this.
The closer I become to self-actualization, I now understand, because confidence comes from within. It does not come when you lose that pesky 10 pounds. It does not come when you date the man of your dreams. It does not come when you finally land your dream career. Confidence comes from the deepest and most darkest moments of your existence; the moments where you feel the least self-assured. Confidence is that voice telling you, I’m beautiful just the way I am. I am enough. I deserve to be loved because I am worthy.
Confidence is the ability to love ourselves even though we know that we are not perfect.
Confidence is being fearless in pursuit of our dreams.
Confidence is putting on a smile even when we don’t feel self-assured.
Confidence, often times, is faking it till we make it.
Today on the blog I’m sharing 5 tips for YOU to be more confident.
1.) Do what you love
When we do what we love, we are more likely to flourish because we are in our natural element. What is it that you love doing? Take some time to remind yourself why you love yourself, and what you are good at. For example, I love to write. Nothing boosts my confidence more than when I finish writing a piece that I worked ages on and sharing it with my loved ones. But remember, do what you love because you feel proud. Don’t look for that external validation. This is about YOU, not others.
2.) Improve your posture
Believe it or not, studies show that those who sit up straighter and walk a little taller are more likely to be confident. Ever hear of the term “Fake it till you make it”? Try it out yourself! I’m not kidding you. Next time you are in a meeting, sit up straight and be mindful of your posture. It gives yourself the illusion that you are in more control.
3.) Radiate positivity
This sounds so easy, but try being more positive! Limit the negative thinking out loud. Stop complaining. Think about possibilities, not limitations. It in indeed true that no body likes to be around a downer. When we over-use negative messages, our brain starts to normalize them and only think in that perspective. Change your thinking, change your perspective.
4.) Capitalize your strengths; work on your weaknesses
Write down a list of things that you are good at, and a list of things that you feel you need to work on. Just being mindful of your weaknesses is one step closer to perfecting them. Being self-aware is the first step to self-improvement. For example, my strengths include that I am empathic, creative, great at looking at all sides of perspectives, and detail-oriented. However, I lack decision-making skills, have a hard time with confrontation, and tend to be the “Yes-Man.” Knowing what I need to work on is the first step to improving these lacks of skills.
5.) Stop caring about what others think
For me, this one is the hardest one of them all. I can be in my element, feeling really great about myself, but when someone puts me down or makes me feel inferior, I close up. Caring about what others think will only prolong you from finding that inner-confidence. Take what others think with a grain of salt, and know that ultimately, only what YOU think matters. For example, when I first started the fashion portion of my blog, I had a girl make a remark to me in a rather condescending way, “So what, are you a model now or something?” I instantly felt stupid. In my head I thought, “I’m not pretty enough to be a fashion blogger” and “I don’t want others to think I’m trying to be a model. Maybe I should quit.” It took me a few days to bounce back from this comment, but once I did, it was freeing. And who knows? Maybe that girl wasn’t trying to be rude, maybe she thought what I was doing was cool! But in my head, I felt like everyone thought I was an idiot for starting a fashion blog.
You are so worthy of love, but the first step is to love yourself. You have every right to be confident. Own it, babes.
“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” – Steve Maraboli
Photos taken by my fabulous, sweet friend Kalli from Kallidoscope Photography! Find her on Facebook and Instagram!
What does confidence mean to YOU? Please leave me a comment below!
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