15 Ways to Self-Sabotage Your Own Happiness | InspirationIndulgence.com

At some point, we all are victims of self-sabotaging our own happiness. Think you are getting in the way of your own success? Read on.

1.) Wishing you had someone else’s body

Sorry to break it to you, but you don’t. You were born with the beautiful body that you have; in all of its imperfections. Your curves, scars, distinct characteristics, and unique body features are what makes you YOU. Appreciate it. Not all people were born healthy like you are.

2.) Staying at a job you hate

With the amount of time that you spend at work in a week, why would you stay in an environment where you are absolutely miserable? Believe that you can find something better, even if the pay is hard to walk away from.

3.)  Making choices based off of what others’ expect of you

This is YOUR life. Make choices for YOU because they make YOU happy.

4.) Wishing you could go back in the past

The past is over with. It ultimately serves us one purpose, and one purpose only: to learn, evolve, and grow from.

5.) Settling for someone who doesn’t see your true beauty

You deserve to be loved exactly the way you are. You should never have to change for anyone. Anyone who fails to realize this just isn’t worth it. You will find better, I promise.

6.) Staying in your comfort zone

How do you know if you like new places, new foods, new people, etc. if you don’t get out there and take the risk? What is holding you back? Feel the fear and do it anyway.

7.) Thinking that the world owes you something

Time to take the princess crown off. The world does not owe you anything; you owe the world. Stop thinking in your entitled mindset. Get out there and make things happen.

8.) Not making time for the people you love

How are others supposed to be a good friend to you if you are not there for them? There is so much more to life than work, school, and the every day stressors of life. No matter how busy life gets, remember that the people who you love are the most important thing. Put them first.

9.) Comparing your life to others’ via social media

People only post the very best of their lives on social media. We all struggle with hardships, comparison, and insecurities. Instead of focusing on things that you don’t have, limit your media usage and remind yourself of everything that you are grateful for.

10.) Breaking your back to please everyone

Trying to please everyone will eventually break you down. It’s okay to do nice things for the other people, but don’t forget to put the most important person first – yourself.

11.) Overthinking simple things

Sometimes, the answer is much more simple than we make it out to be.

12.) Making excuses

Take responsibility, own up, and work hard to overcome. Making excuses and blaming others will never get you anywhere.

13.) Not trusting your instincts

We have instincts for a reason. Whether we are faced to make decisons about a life partner, a place to move, or a new job, your gut instinct will likely be the best choice for you to make. And if that choice ends up badly? We always have the power to change.

14.) Surrounding yourself around toxic people

Choose to be with others who lift you up, not bring you down.

15.) Avoiding change

Similar to being fearful of going out of our comfort zone, being reluctant to change can close a lot of doors and opportunities for us. Open your heart and mind, and take the risk.

 

Don’t let yourself get in the way of your own happiness, babes. Be aware of your thoughts, feelings and reactions, and then do something to change it. You deserve the world.

Xoxo,

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How to Stop Being a People Pleaser
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  • IE

    I fought #2 and got up the nerve to quit my job. Which lead to #6 – I’m no longer in my comfort zone with no income and searching for another job. The rest are a little easier for me to combat.

    • So happy to hear that!!! It can be so easy to just “stay” and put up with the BS…but once you take that leap, you’ll likely wonder why you didn’t leave sooner. Good for you!!

  • Elizabeth Johnson

    I love how real you get! You are so positive about it which is refreshing and uplifting!

    • I’m so happy you enjoy my writing! Thanks lady!

  • I ALWAYS tell people DO NOT LIVE IN THE PAST – that will just EAT AT YOU until you can’t take it anymore!

    • Exactly. Talk about killing happiness!

  • YES YES YES!! I would even change “overthinking the simple things” to just plain “overthinking.” I’ve been learning just how much I can overthink EVERYTHING and allow it to kick my anxiety into high gear, whether it be something small or a potentially difficult conversation with a boss or someone else you love. Just the other week, I decided to get a difficult conversation over with that was giving me anxiety (knowing the longer I put it off, the more it would build), and you know what? IT TURNED OUT FINE!

    • Aw girl!!! Good for you! I’m right there with ya on that one. Often times, the most anxiety provoking things for me are those difficult conversations. And yes, they usually end up going just fine. Let’s hope we get better with practice! 😉

  • Yes! I’m pretty good about not living in the past, but sometimes I live too much in the future rather than the present. I’m finally getting over the need to please everyone all the time. It can be hard but I feel much more sane not trying to make everyone else happy.

    • I’m with you. That would be a great add onto the list! “Stop obsessing over the future.” Because our future is not guaranteed…we should be futuristic, but also live in the present.

      And I think we all struggle with people pleasing.

  • Rachel Ritlop

    YES! Great post Chelsea!! I think it’s so easy to forget how we are self sabotaging our own happiness and relationships!

    • Thanks for stopping by, Rachel!

  • Not trusting my instincts is a big one for me! There’s so many experiences I have missed out because I didn’t pay attention to!

    • I’d love to hear about an example, if you have one! Same here.

  • Lauren Jane

    I have such a hard time deciphering between what I want to do for oters, since I am such a helper and server, and what I do because I think others *expect* me to do them. I spent a lot of July worn out because I wanted to do what others needed instead of what I needed.

    • I am a server as well; in fact I even wrote an entire post about it at one point! I think that saying “no” gets easier with practice!!

  • These are great points. The last two years of my life have been making massive adjustments and pretty much correcting all of these things. I’m still working on 10, 11 and 12. 12 is my hardest. I need to push myself more, esepcially not that I’m doing my own thing.

    • Hey girl! Thanks for stopping by! Thanks for getting vulnerable and admitting that. Maybe it would help if you had someone to help hold you accountable? Like a friend?

      • Absolutely!! I usually do snapchat to stay connected to those encouraging and try to do the same back. Sometimes, it’s two steps forward and five back. But effort was made, so that’s what should count!!

  • Penny @ pennyspassion.blogspot

    Great read! So many of these things we know, but the reminder is so wonderful.

    • Thanks for stopping by, Penny!

  • All these 15 ways are so true! But is so difficult to avoid them, consodering the social boundaries that we grow up with.

    Cristina

    • Change will ALWAYS be hard to confront at first. We have to have a positive mindset when we do approach it. If we don’t like our current situation, we can alway change it again!

  • If only someone would have shared this with me in my 20’s and 30’s. However this list is a great mantra for women in their 40’s. Happiness is paramount. Kudos to you for publishing such an empowering list!

    • Thank you so much! I really appreciate that validation. I’m by no means perfect with this list, but hoping it will serve me as a reminder!

  • linda spiker

    Staying in a job you hate can really make one suffer! And all the other tips are great as well!

    • Definitely. Thanks for stopping by!

  • Sheila Jo Spencer

    Great post! I started to list my favorite points, but realized it was pretty much the whole thing! :)

    • Aw. Thank you for your kind comment! Cheers to you living a happy, fulfilled life.

  • Kristen Rodriguez

    This is perfect. I so needed to hear this today.

  • Great list girlfriend! Currently trying to get out of this job I hate and eventually go full-time blogger!!

  • Lifestylequeenbee

    This was a fantastic read (and wonderfully timed for me personally!). We are all guilty of these things at some point in our life but working to move past them (or avoiding doing them altogether) is so helpful! I’m currently stuck in a job I hate (unfortunately working with my brother in law which makes it THAT much harder to leave) and keep dragging my heels on speaking up and just leaving. My ultimate goal is to take my blog to a full-time status but in the meantime, just need to find something that not only helps pay the bills but keeps my happy while I build my life. Thanks again!

    • Aw! I hope you find the courage to leave. I know it can be so hard when business is mixed with personal feelings and connections. I hope that you find whatever makes you happy!

  • Julie McLelland

    This is an awesome list! Very well written and I agree 100% Thanks for sharing.

  • Daria Vinning

    I totally agree with this total list! OMG, everything is so true. Going through this job deal now and can relate to others as well! Thanks for sharing!

    • Hope you find what makes you happy!

  • Neely

    Trying to please everyone. Guilty!

  • So, so true, my friend! I am especially prone to overthinking everything, and it totally zaps me of joy and energy.

    • Preach lady. This is something that we all run into from time to time!

  • I am guilty of doing about all of these things! :(

    • It’s okay; it’s only natural! The important thing is to be aware :)

  • This post is so spot on! I think we all fall victim to all of these at some point, but wishing I could go back in the past is the one that I really struggle with. I’m a work in progress :)

    LiveLifeWell,
    Allison

    • We all are a work in progress!!

  • Cait Weingartner

    This post is so, so important. Thank you for sharing. We are all guilty of doing these things to ourselves. I’m glad I’m not the only one.

    – Cait | http://www.prettyandfun.com

    • Thanks for stopping by, Cait!

  • Dia

    Love this post! These are all so true. In the past month I left a job I hated, left someone who wasn’t loving me back and started making better choices health wise. I am not wasting anymore time being unhappy.

    • GOOD FOR YOU, GURL!!!!! I was so happy to read that.

  • This post is literal perfection. You always say all the words I have in my head but can never get out on paper.

    xoxo, Jenny

    • Aw thank you Jenny! I think everyone can relate to it from time to time.

  • Nicole Banuelos

    Such a wonderful post. I’m so guilty of #1, especially after 3 kids. I’m going to stop wasting so much time being unhappy!

    • But girl, that body GAVE YOU your children!!! LOVE your body and appreciate what it has done for you (:

  • Mary Welby

    Fantastic post! And so true! Can I contribute one item?

    16. Staying in situations that make you unhappy because of love.

    So many people believe love always equals happiness. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they treat you well and make you happy. Forcing yourself to be in a situation because you care even though another hurts you (physically, emotionally or mentally) is not okay and ruins your happiness.

    • That is an excellent add. You are 100% correct.

  • I think an entire generation of people needs to read this post, Chels. It’s perfect.

    Coming Up Roses

  • Jessica Bradshaw

    Making choices based off of what others’ expect of you- This is something I sometimes struggle with. I want to make everyone happy and it definitely sometimes sabotages my own.

    • SAMES lady. That’s why I wrote this one down. Don’t neglect your own happiness.

  • #5 Settling for someone who doesn’t see your true beauty…took me forever to learn to demand to be treated like a queen! The second I did, he left. But he was replaced with a man that knows how to treat a woman. Thank God for lessons learned. Love this list!

    • SO happy to hear your story had a happy ending! XO

  • ItsFitting

    I’m so bad about thinking about the past… my husband is always reminding me that I can’t change it!

    • You really can’t. You can learn from it though, and be mindful of what it has taught you!

  • Adaleta Avdic

    Thinking that the world owes me something is probably the worst thing for me or anyone because if we feel obligated and expect something, that’s when we will be disappointed and maybe even pissed we didn’t get it. Such a good candid and thoughtful post, really enjoyed it! xx adaatude.com

    • Thanks so much for reading, lady! I think, especially as millennials, we tend to have this egocentric thinking. It is good that you are aware of it, though!

  • Ashley

    I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of my past breaking my back to please others. It’s a hard habit to break because I enjoy doing things for others. But when someone does me wrong, I tend to anger myself thinking about why I spent so much time and effort trying to please that person. Great post!

    • Aw girl! I think we all do this at times. It’s hard to break the cycle! The first step is being aware. The next step is putting yourself first! :)

  • Graham @ reverse the crush

    Great list!
    All fantastic reminders. I tend to think about the past too much, but at least I’m making changes as far as escaping the day job I disliked. Thanks for sharing :)

    • So awesome that you escaped that crappy job! Here’s to your success and happiness!!

  • Totally #1 and #11.
    Great list and a good reminder to myself!

    • <3 I do all of these things, if that helps! Thanks for reading, girl!