I’ll never forget some of the backlash I received after publishing one of my first articles with Huffington Post. The piece was entitled, “Stop Using Slut as a Term of Endearment,” and discussed how I believe it’s degrading when women call each other words such as “slut,” “bitch,” and “whore.” The point of my post was that we don’t like when men call us these words, so why should we call each other these terms?
I was SO proud of myself when I heard back from Ms. Arianna herself that my piece would be published, and squeaked with excitement when the post was live on Huffington. The next day, I clicked on the link to see if there were any comments, and was SHOCKED to find that in less than 24 hours, there were dozens of rude and absurd comments attacking me, my thoughts, and my intelligence.
I knew that it was a controversial topic, but I was so troubled of the fact that nearly 90% of the commenters were men, when clearly this article was a rant about how WOMEN speak to WOMEN. Some of the comments read as follows:
“Amazing how America thinks it is entirely in charge of policing the English language and the manner in which humans interact. . . Give over. Not everyone is as sensitive as people are in your horrible, cultural wasteland.”
“Might I suggest you take a class or two on women’s studies and not assume you know everything when you walk in.”
“Well, that is your opinion and I think we should all thank you for trying to impose it on others – yep no freedom of expression here.”
And my favorite, which later was deleted by the user, stated:
“Liberal Huffington and their cheap talent grad student bloggers. Perhaps Ms. Hetzel at age 23 is not yet old enough to fully understand her thoughts and opinions.”
LOLZZZZZZZ. I guess at age 23 I’m not old enough to have coherent thoughts and feelings, guys.
I could go on and on about each of these comments, and how these people seemingly think that I’m just some random, uneducated girl who doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about. I just wanted to find each individual and shake some sense into them that I actually am nearly halfway through my Master’s program…that being said, I am fully capable at age 23 of forming my own thoughts and opinions.
So here’s the question. WHY are people so rude? Whether it’s behind an anonymous internet screen, at work, or at school. WHY do people feel the need to hurt others with their words? And it’s not just me who has a problem with the internet haters. My girl Lindsay blogs about her own experience dealing with internet trolls in this post.
Today’s post is to remind my dear readers that even though others may be crapping on you, you are awesome. Here are 5 things to remind yourself when dealing with rude people:
1.) They are insecure
Deep down, there is something that tells the rude person that they need to cut others down in order to make themselves feel better. I truly believe that even the most confident people who treat others disrespectfully are deeply insecure with some aspect of themselves. We have to remember that although we are being targeted, when looking at the big picture, this actually has NOTHING to do with us.
2.) They are unhappy with their own lives
Clearly, these kind of people aren’t happy in their own lives. Some of their needs are not being fulfilled, whether it’s the need for love, attention, or happiness, they are trying to fulfill the missing void by being taking away a HAPPY PERSON’S thoughts and feelings. Whether they are aware of it or not, it makes them feel better by sucking the happiness out of someone else because they aren’t happy, so why should you be?
3.) They need power
This stems down to one thing: A control issue. The rude person feels like they are lacking control in other parts of their life and needs to feel like they have a grip on something…And unfortunately, you are the scapegoat.
4.) They have poor coping skills
Relating back to the need of power, this also shows that by taking advantage of you and your happiness, this shows that the rude person has poor coping skills in their own life. They simply cannot cope with what their own life throws at them, so they feel the need to have power in what they CAN control: You and your emotions. They use anger and hatred as a mechanism to feel better about themselves.
5.) It’s really not about you
This is THEIR stuff that they are dealing with, not yours. Whatever the rude person is thinking, feeling, or acting upon actually has nothing to do with you.
In the end, you have to remember that when people are rude to you, it in no way shape or form represents who YOU are as a person. Don’t let THEIR stuff you down. Because darlings- you’re all rockstars.
You may also like these posts!
15 Habits of Successful Women
It’s Okay to Put Yourself First Sometimes
You Are More Than Your Insecurities
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