Your fairy tale ending is all about PERSPECTIVE | Inspiration Indulgence

I was “that girl” who dreamed about her wedding ever since she was a little girl.

I had so many dreams. What my dress would look like, who would be at my wedding, what dance I would choose to dance with my father, and what my vows would be. The wedding itself was a crystal clear picture in my mind. The only blurry part of the picture was the groom himself. He was unclear; I could see his frame but not his face.

This is going to sound so crazy, but I was always a bit boy-obsessed growing up. I specifically remember having thoughts of wanting to kiss my crush Nick on the school bus in Kindergarten. Yes, Kindergarten.  As a tween, all I wanted was a boyfriend. When my 12-year old friends were beginning to “date,” AKA…passing notes in between classes in 7th grade, I was depressed that I wasn’t one of them. I never felt like the boys wanted anything to do with me. I was the girl at the middle school dance who sat in a corner and secretly wished someone would ask her to dance, but it never happened. My best friend and I used to spend hours in her room discussing what it would be like to kiss a boy, and wondered if it would ever actually happen. I wondered if I was actually worthy to marry someday.

As you can imagine, I eventually grew up and blossomed from those awkward pre-teen years. I went through my fair share of relationships in high school and the beginning of college, but nothing felt right. I was striving not just for a man who I could call a boyfriend, but a man who could treat me like a lady. I strived for intentional, late night conversations on the hood of a truck; for family dinners with my man’s family; Christmases decorating a tree together; picking out pumpkins.  I wanted that intimacy and connection. I wanted a best friend; someone who loved me for my HEART and not just my body.

I wanted a best friend; someone who loved me for my heart and not jut my body.

I met Trevor my junior year of college. He was from my home town, but we didn’t really know each other when I was in high school because he was five years older than me. On our first date, I accompanied him as a date for his EMS banquet. (He works for our local Ambulance service as an EMT.)  I remember feeling so nervous; it was almost like a blind date. We felt this weird connection and attraction through social media and texting (hey- let’s not forget I’m a millennial!) and I wanted to see if he was as cool in person as he was through electronic device. Needless to say, I was scared out of my mind. I kept telling myself, “If this date doesn’t go well, I live 4 hours away and never have to see him again.”

Well, wouldn’t you know it, on my 4-hour drive home for our date, I got in a minor car accident. I was ticketed, my car was wrecked, and not to mention my parents were outraged. Trevor had to come pick me up and meet my angry parents- not the ideal way you want to first meet the family! Despite this, we still had a great time at the banquet, and the next weekend he came to my college town to visit me.

It’s been almost 3 years since I went on that date, and I’m happy to say we are engaged! Trevor fulfilled everything and more I ever wanted in a man- he is loyal, trustworthy, hardworking, family-oriented, and a blast to be with. We have SO much fun together, and he is honestly the funniest person I have ever met in my life.  He fulfilled all of my dreams I always wished on a star as a little girl. We have decorated a Christmas tree together, written love notes back and forth, and we’ve watched a meteor shower on the hood of his truck. He’s gone fishing with my father, sat at the kitchen table having a conversation with my mother, and has become close with my sisters. We’ve also done our fair share of traveling all over the United States together. In addition, I’ve become incredibly close to his family, and am forever grateful that they took me in as one of their own from the very beginning.

Sounds like an absolute fairy tale ending, right? Let’s not forget something important.

The truth is, no relationship is perfect. Despite what you may see on social media or how people portray themselves, conflict happens…and that’s okay. Our relationship has been a rollercoaster; there have been the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. And you know what? That’s completely normal! The important part is how you RISE above the conflict. It’s about how you communicate, respect, and forgive one another.

For all of you newly engaged women out there, I want you to think about something as you plan your wedding. Please remember that it’s NOT all about the glitz and the glamour. It’s about your relationship and your ultimate sacrifice to spend your life together.  Please don’t get caught up in the craziness of wedding planning. There are times where I have felt Bridezilla tendencies, but I always have Trevor to keep me grounded. Marriage is about love, and that’s what the focus of the wedding should be.

Fairy tales are real. But it's all about perspective.

Fairy tales are REAL. But it’s all about perspective.

Is your fairy tale to live in your mansion together with your dream jobs and perfect two children? Because that’s not life is about. Fairy tales are about being happy with where you are in this moment. Appreciating what you have and being thankful for the hand that has been dealt with you.

That, my friends, is a fairy tale ending.

Xoxo,

  • I love this! I’m so happy for you guys. I feel like we had the same middle school/high school story.

    • Thanks so much, Emily! How so? :)

      • Oh, I just meant in the sense of boys and dating 😉 I felt like such an outcast in middle school, followed by a bunch of “serious” relationships in high school. Oh the days, haha.

      • Yes, “oh the days” is right!! Haha. So glad I’m not a part of those days anymore. Thank you so much for reading!

  • Hil D

    Love it, totally about perspective and it’s true, no relationship is perfect.

  • Such a great post :) it is all about perspective. I’m not planning my wedding (yet) but it’s amazing how much my whole perspective about how I want that process to go, and my whole life, since I met the Mr.

    It’s turned from an exciting day about the dress into a life together. And I love every minute :)

    • Yay, I’m so excited for you! Did you set a date yet?

      • haha oh god no, we’re still in the “talking about when an appropriate time to get engaged” is (soon. soon is the appropriate time.).

        We’ve been living together for a year and a half though, so we’re already doing the life building bit 😉 Renovating a home, renting, travelling, arguing about whose turn it is to do dishes and laundry, the fun stuff :)

      • Aw well that’s just as exciting! I’m sure you will get engaged soon 😉

  • I’m truly super happy for you guys!!! I can’t wait to see a post about that wedding! I hope you write about it, I’m sure it’s going to be beautiful

    • Oh I for sure will! It’s not until 2017 so in the mean time, there will be lots of planning posts :)

  • So true! I think so many people get swept up in the excitement of being in a relationship and the glamour of a wedding, but neither of those has anything to do with a successful marriage. Marriage is WORK. And finding someone that treats you right is a huge step!

    • Exactly!
      And I’m so excited to begin this crazy journey.

  • Becky @Disney in your Day

    So well said. Marriage is about the relationship, not the wedding (though that part is definitely fun!). I’m glad you found a great guy!

    • Thank you so much, Becky! He is a keeper 😉

  • Yes, yes, and yes! So good. The best, healthiest relationships are the ones that work through the hard, gritty seasons of conflict without giving up. There’s so much joy but also so much work and you need both! I’m so glad you’re sharing this because this is a truth so many women need to hear!

    • Thanks, Lauren! I truly believe the key is “not giving up.” :)

  • All very true! Congrats on finding the right one, I did a while series on this topic called A wedding is a Day a marriage is a lifetime, which rings very similar to your Fairy Tales are real, it’s all about perspective. So wise for someone newly engaged, you guys will be the ones celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary!

    • Aw I hope we can say we’ve been married for 60 years someday! That means my fiance will be 90 years old at the time!

  • Kaci Alvarez

    YES! This is so true! I love this post so much! So happy for you!

  • So agree with you, Chels! It is so easy to get caught up in everything that everyone else is doing. Even though I’m not engaged, it still gets hard to not compare my relationship with someone else’s seemingly perfect one!

    • I don’t blame you. I think we all do, it’s completely normal! EVERYONE has conflict. How you handle it is what makes a relationship thrive and grow.

  • Shann Eva

    Such a great post! I also dreamed about my wedding and family when I was a little girl. It took me a lot longer to get here than I thought, but it was worth it. It’s definitely hard work to keep the fairy tale going too. :)

    • That’s okay. I know it will be…but I’m so ready for it.

  • You couldn’t be more right! My perspective on everything is always very positive… However, when I get hormonal… THAT ONE WEEK I get all paranoid and crap, but I am actively working on that and the second I ever start doubting anything… I just say – YEP, it’s that time of the month, so SHUT UP STUPID THOUGHTS! ha ha!

    • LOL!!! I feel like we could be the same person….ha

  • Aww, this was so sweet to read!! I can relate to how you felt wondering if you would ever meet the one. I still feel the same and in a few years I will be 30. Maybe there is someone out there for me or I am destined to be single forever.

    • You are not! You are worthy of love and to be loved!! xo

  • I loved reading your story! I always tell people that my husband is the perfect person for me, but I never say the perfect person. I am fairly certain if he was perfect, he would be quite frustrated with me who is not haha. I enjoyed this post though and congratulations on your engagement!! It is such an amazing feeling to know you’ve found the person you love and you know you will spend the rest of your life working on stuff with- very exciting! :)

    • Thank you so much, Autumn! That’s exactly how I feel- my fiance is the perfect person for ME. We just fit so well together :) Thanks for commenting, and for the well wishes! xo

  • Lindsay Katherine

    Chels, I love learning more about your relationship! ha, what a funny way for Trevor to meet your parents – I’m sure at the time it wasn’t funny, but see what a great story it makes?? It’s so true that how you persevere through the obstacles and forgive in relationships is what will really help you achieve your ‘fairy tale’ ending.

    • Thanks, Lindsay! HA, I know right! It’s the joke now every time our anniversary rolls around. He told me that once he heard I crashed my car, he thought, “Welp, the date is off,” and I called him and apparently said in a chipper voice, “Oh no, the date is for sure still on.” LOL

  • Loved this story!
    I definitely agree that it’s all about how you handle conflict and recognizing how the other person handles things so that when you do argue, you can cope how you need to and they can do the same.
    xoxo, Jenny || http://www.breakfastatlillys.com

    • Thank you so much! I’m happy to hear your enjoyed reading it :)

  • So true though! I thought after marriage, that was my fairy tale ending. But it’s just not. I love my husband but every day is work. It’s a beautiful, life-giving work but it’s just not the fairy tale you think it will be. I’m glad it’s not that way though. I wouldn’t want it to be easy all the time!

    • Right! I wouldn’t want it any other way :) Glad you feel the same. So happy for you!!

  • Christy Fleener

    I loved this post exactly what I need to read this morning. I definitely thought I would be married and having kids by now (I’m 26) but I just haven’t had much luck with guys in the past few years until I finally met a great guy last summer. Good things come to those who wait! I feel like we get caught up in the fairy tale, movie romance and get impatient and forget to have our hearts in the right places. So it was nice to have a reminder to slow things down and appreciate the little things, like communication and working with each other :)
    -Christy { https://newdirtnoldboots.wordpress.com/ }

    • Hey Christy, it’s so refreshing to hear your honestly! I’m a firm believer that things happen when they are mean to happen, however cheesy that sounds!! And I do believe good things happen to those who wait. Best of luck in your future!

  • Samantha

    Beautiful post xoxo thanks for sharing. Very good read.

    Samantha | pearlsandpolkadots.net

    • Thank you so much, Samantha!

  • Kate Walton

    There is so much truth in this. I loved it. We would love to have you link up at 100 Happy Days http://www.akreativewhim.com/100-happy-days-link-party-4/

  • So very true. Your happiness depends on you and no one else. Great post.

  • This post has SO much truth to it! I consider my love story a fairy tale (as I’m sure most women do), but I’m sure a lot of women wouldn’t. It’s all about perspective and what your definition of love it.

    All the Best,
    Allison Jones | http://www.LiveLifeWellblog.com

    • Thank you so much for stopping by again, Allison! I would love to hear more about your fairy tale :)

  • Love this! Fairytales wouldn’t be all that interesting if they were all perfect, all the time. You have to have twists and turns to make them interesting! :)

    • For sure!!! :) Otherwise…life would be boring 😉

  • I never thought my fairy tale would land me in Mississippi, and I never thought Prince Charming was going to be who he turned out to be. In fact – I turned him down time and time again and made him wait while I made up my mind and then decided between him and another guy. We’ve had to spend two years of 3.5 year marriage in a commuter marriage…but everything is incredible – so much better than I ever thought it was going to be. We’re blessed.

    You are right to not get caught up in the wedding planning because it’s so much more than that. If you haven’t found it yet, A Practical Wedding is a great resource.

    • Aw what an awesome story, Jen! And thank you so much for the advice. It’s great to hear how happy you are. :)

  • DT

    So beautifully written.. And a great advice to remember :) Thanks for sharing your story.
    — DT | Here I Scribble

    • Thank you so much for reading ! :) Glad you enjoyed it :)

  • Rebecca Jalernpan

    Great post! I wish more people would realize that social media is all about promoting the good stuff but that doesn’t mean other stuff happens behind the scenes!

    • Exactly. It’s not always real. No one wants people to know about the bad in their life!

  • Alissa Collier

    “Fairy tales are about being happy with where you are in this moment.” Great quote! It’s a good reminder to me. I married my best friend and love of my life, one year ago. We celebrated our first wedding anniversary two days ago. Everyday of my life is better with him. I realize that our “fairy tale” is our life together as husband and wife. Not the wedding day. You, like me, and most females, dream about our “fairy tale” wedding days for so long. Our wedding was joyous but, not perfect. I wasn’t 100% satisfied with our photographer. I have often looked back at our wedding photos feeling disappointed that all the “prefect pictures” that I dreamed of were not all captured. I’m sharing this because, if it’s been a struggle for me, I am sure other brides have felt this way too. But, I am reminding myself that the perfect photos and even perfect wedding are not so important. That was not our fairy tale! Our fairy tale is the moments we share as husband and wife. The wedding is only the beginning to a life happily ever after.

    • Hey Alissa, Thanks for the thoughtful comment ! I’m sorry to hear you were disappointed in your photographer. I’m happy though that you realized that it’s not all about that! What’s important is the life you two have created together. So many people are unfortunate and lose their spouse, don’t find love, etc. Hold on to what you have tightly and never look back :) xo