I was “that girl” who dreamed about her wedding ever since she was a little girl.
I had so many dreams. What my dress would look like, who would be at my wedding, what dance I would choose to dance with my father, and what my vows would be. The wedding itself was a crystal clear picture in my mind. The only blurry part of the picture was the groom himself. He was unclear; I could see his frame but not his face.
This is going to sound so crazy, but I was always a bit boy-obsessed growing up. I specifically remember having thoughts of wanting to kiss my crush Nick on the school bus in Kindergarten. Yes, Kindergarten. As a tween, all I wanted was a boyfriend. When my 12-year old friends were beginning to “date,” AKA…passing notes in between classes in 7th grade, I was depressed that I wasn’t one of them. I never felt like the boys wanted anything to do with me. I was the girl at the middle school dance who sat in a corner and secretly wished someone would ask her to dance, but it never happened. My best friend and I used to spend hours in her room discussing what it would be like to kiss a boy, and wondered if it would ever actually happen. I wondered if I was actually worthy to marry someday.
As you can imagine, I eventually grew up and blossomed from those awkward pre-teen years. I went through my fair share of relationships in high school and the beginning of college, but nothing felt right. I was striving not just for a man who I could call a boyfriend, but a man who could treat me like a lady. I strived for intentional, late night conversations on the hood of a truck; for family dinners with my man’s family; Christmases decorating a tree together; picking out pumpkins. I wanted that intimacy and connection. I wanted a best friend; someone who loved me for my HEART and not just my body.
I met Trevor my junior year of college. He was from my home town, but we didn’t really know each other when I was in high school because he was five years older than me. On our first date, I accompanied him as a date for his EMS banquet. (He works for our local Ambulance service as an EMT.) I remember feeling so nervous; it was almost like a blind date. We felt this weird connection and attraction through social media and texting (hey- let’s not forget I’m a millennial!) and I wanted to see if he was as cool in person as he was through electronic device. Needless to say, I was scared out of my mind. I kept telling myself, “If this date doesn’t go well, I live 4 hours away and never have to see him again.”
Well, wouldn’t you know it, on my 4-hour drive home for our date, I got in a minor car accident. I was ticketed, my car was wrecked, and not to mention my parents were outraged. Trevor had to come pick me up and meet my angry parents- not the ideal way you want to first meet the family! Despite this, we still had a great time at the banquet, and the next weekend he came to my college town to visit me.
It’s been almost 3 years since I went on that date, and I’m happy to say we are engaged! Trevor fulfilled everything and more I ever wanted in a man- he is loyal, trustworthy, hardworking, family-oriented, and a blast to be with. We have SO much fun together, and he is honestly the funniest person I have ever met in my life. He fulfilled all of my dreams I always wished on a star as a little girl. We have decorated a Christmas tree together, written love notes back and forth, and we’ve watched a meteor shower on the hood of his truck. He’s gone fishing with my father, sat at the kitchen table having a conversation with my mother, and has become close with my sisters. We’ve also done our fair share of traveling all over the United States together. In addition, I’ve become incredibly close to his family, and am forever grateful that they took me in as one of their own from the very beginning.
Sounds like an absolute fairy tale ending, right? Let’s not forget something important.
The truth is, no relationship is perfect. Despite what you may see on social media or how people portray themselves, conflict happens…and that’s okay. Our relationship has been a rollercoaster; there have been the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. And you know what? That’s completely normal! The important part is how you RISE above the conflict. It’s about how you communicate, respect, and forgive one another.
For all of you newly engaged women out there, I want you to think about something as you plan your wedding. Please remember that it’s NOT all about the glitz and the glamour. It’s about your relationship and your ultimate sacrifice to spend your life together. Please don’t get caught up in the craziness of wedding planning. There are times where I have felt Bridezilla tendencies, but I always have Trevor to keep me grounded. Marriage is about love, and that’s what the focus of the wedding should be.
Fairy tales are REAL. But it’s all about perspective.
Is your fairy tale to live in your mansion together with your dream jobs and perfect two children? Because that’s not life is about. Fairy tales are about being happy with where you are in this moment. Appreciating what you have and being thankful for the hand that has been dealt with you.
That, my friends, is a fairy tale ending.