It's time to be aware of our judgements and ask ourselves why we are judging others.

I think we can all agree that there is no worst feeling in the world than being judged.

We’ve all been there. We’re constantly being judged by others. At work, at school, with friends, and on social media. We are judged for how we dress, what we say, how we interact, how we work, and how we play. We live in a world that is constantly picking us apart; a world that is in our business and thinks they know what’s best for us. In return, we feed off these judgements and let them define us. We are quick to judge others and do the same thing to others that hurts us.

Let’s be real. Getting judged REALLY hurts. We try to be the best versions of ourselves, and sometimes it’s not good enough. We try to look our best, say the right thing, and do what is best for us, but there is always that one person who doesn’t approve. I personally struggle hardcore with being judged.  Because I tend to be a people-pleaser and worry about what others think of me, my greatest fear is getting judged. And I certainly have been a victim of judgement in the past: Which most of the time, becoming contradicting.

She parties too much // She never goes out anymore.
She swears too much // She’s a goody two shoes .
She doesn’t go to church enough //  she acts like she knows everything.

The funny thing is, people think they know you, but they really don’t. Sometimes, I just want to interject and say, Excuse me, but who the hell do you think you are? Do you know my story? Have you walked in my shoes? Do you know my desires, my goals, and my thought process? Do you know why I make the decisions that I do, and say the things I do?

We are all human. We all deserve to be happy and to make our own decisions without feeling the need to validate those to others.

When you are forming judgements about someone, little do you know what harm you’re actually doing to yourself. When you build yourself up by bringing others down, this shows me that you don’t have much self-respect, confidence, or intelligence. There is a need deep down within you that needs to be satisfied by making others feel inferior to you.

I’m not going to act all high and mighty and act like I don’t judge others, because I do. I think judging others is a part of human nature, and anyone who says that they have never judged anyone in their life is a liar. However, this doesn’t excuse our actions. We need to check ourselves each time we form these judgements. Ask yourself: Why are you making a judgement about someone? Do you really know what this person is going through, or know what they have gone through in the past? How are you going to benefit from judging this person?

Our lives are too short to deal with this cycle of bullcrap. Can we all just please stop judging each other? Live your life, and don’t worry about anyone else but yourself.

How do you want to leave your mark in this world?

“When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.” – Wayne Dyer

Peace and love,

Xoxo,

Need more inspiration? Check out these hit posts:
A Letter to You When You’re Feeling Insecure
You Are Enough
How to Be Happy During a Rough Time

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  • Lindsay Katherine

    Amen, Chels! I talk about this all the time with my students and try to bring awareness to this issue because you’re right – getting judged HURTS. You might act like it doesn’t to save face, but of course it does. I like your point that we don’t know (REALLY know) others’ lives, goals, and stories. Great read.

    • I’m SO happy to hear that you talk about this with your students. So important to be reminded…especially as a kid or a teenager.

  • This is spot on! We all need a little more kindness and less judging in or world! Just like that famous quote – everyone’s fighting some kind of battle!

  • Emma Palmer

    Such truth in this, amen!

  • Serene Mom

    So true! We all judge people, but unless you’ve walked in someone else’s shoes, you really know nothing of their life. Great post :)

  • Amen! I’ve experienced my fair share of judgment and ridicule in my life. I remember how cruel girls could be in high school, even the ones who were supposed to be friends. I was convinced that ended after high school, but unfortunately it doesn’t. Luckily I’ve learned to grow a tougher skin and care less what others think.

    • Right- unfortunately sometimes the drama never ends.

  • Ugh, yes, this. I’m so tired of everyone having to hate on everyone else for something. Just live your own life and let me live mine.

  • Well said, Chels! The contradictions are what baffle me the most — we can’t seem to do anything “right” when everything we are/do/say is too little or too much.

    • I know. That’s when I get annoyed/hurt/angry.

  • Hil D

    Judging people is hard to not do, but we can keep our opinions to ourself and ensure we don’t hurt others. Being judged does friggin suck and with all the mommy wars going on it is inevitable. We need to band together to support each other not rip each other down.

    • For sure. I’m not a mom yet but I can totally see that side of things…

  • I agree!!! The battle we are in is NOT against each other – we need to love each other and treat each other with LOVE and kindness. Thanks for this reminder

    • Yes! I wish more people grasped this understanding! xo

  • Shann Eva

    Exactly .Love this . I think as I get older, I worry less about what others think of me, which is just a less stressful way to live .

    • I feel that already…even though I am in my early 20s I can already sense a shift in me where I am starting to care less…

  • Spot on. I know a lot about people-pleasing too and for me the trick has been to just not care anymore. As a result I’m much happier.

    • Good for you, Murielle! By the way, I love your blog! So much self-love :)

  • Yes! It’s sad to see how much people judge each other these days. What happened to loving each other and being supportive?

  • jillconyers

    Great read Chels. We can accomplish so much more together and being supportive.

  • Shaylee

    Personally, I’ve found the older I’ve gotten and the more comfortable I am in my own skin the less I feel the need to judge other people. This is a great post to remind us all to be a bit nicer to each other!

    • Good for you, Shaylee! I feel that way as well.

  • So very true! Judging others does nothing but bring everyone down, including ourselves. We are all unique with great things to offer the world and those around us. We could do more to really build each other up and support that uniqueness. Thanks for sharing!

    • We are too good to let others’ perceptions’ define us!

  • That Wayne Dyer quote – that’s perfect. Exactly true.

  • Judging others is a reflection of self-judgement. Until we’ve worked on ourselves, it’s going to be hard to let go of judging others. It is rooted in that need to “prove” – in not feeling good enough. That said, once we’ve done that tough work of accepting ourselves, it’s a lot easier to accept others. And wow – does it feel good! 😀