In a world that is constantly telling us to be different than who we are, I think the bravest thing that we can do is be ourselves and know our worth.

In a world that is constantly telling us to be different than who we are, I think the bravest thing that we can do is be ourselves and know our worth.

Self-love is valuing your worth as a person and being gentle with yourself. Sometimes, it can be hard to love ourselves. Society is always pulling us in different directions and people may interfere with our mental thoughts about how we view ourselves. There are always going to be people disappointed in you; people who don’t understand why you are the way you are; people who just don’t like you. We live in a world where we are constantly being judged, gossiped about, categorized, and labeled. So what exactly should you be striving to do in order to practice self-love?

People who love themselves…

… Don’t rely on someone else to make them happy

It may feel safe to completely invest in a romantic partner and have them be the center of your universe. It’s perfectly okay to fall in love and to lean on your partner for love and support. However, what is not okay is having your partner be the backbone of your happiness.

I truly believe that you need to be happy with yourself before you can ever make anybody else happy.

People who love themselves know that their happiness depends on themselves and their attitude. They don’t rely on others to boost their confidence, mood, or overall happiness in general. People who are usually dependent on another for happiness struggle being alone with themselves. If you put all of your eggs in one basket, what happens if that basket spills? Unfortunately, sometimes people let us down. I guaranteed in this life, someone will hurt you, break your trust, or anger you. You need to be able to love yourself and know your self-worth so that your whole world doesn’t fall apart if this happens.

… No longer feel pressured to be perfect

Perfection is just an illusion. What may seem perfect in one person’s eyes will undoubtedly be not even close to perfection in another’s eyes. There will always be someone wittier than you, prettier than you, smarter than you, and more charming than you. And you know what? That’s okay. Perfection isn’t real. People crave to around someone who is genuine. Someone real.

In addition, being a perfectionist is literally exhausting. You don’t expect your friends or your siblings to be perfect. So why should you expect that of yourself? It’s all about having realistic expectations of yourself. Don’t strive for perfection. Strive instead to be the best version of yourself. When you come to peace with yourself that you are just a person and you are trying your best, you won’t be so devastated if things don’t always go your way. Learn from your mistakes. Let failure teach you a lesson. Find

… Love what makes them stand out as in individual

I don’t understand why we try so hard to fit in and be like everyone else.  People who practice self-love embrace their quirks and characteristics. What is it that makes you unique and separated from the others? Is it your musical talent? Your ability to counsel people? Your infectious humor? Embrace your uniqueness and own it. Truly happy people who love themselves are proud of their personal characteristics. They don’t aspire to be like anybody else but themselves. Which brings me to the next one on the list….

… Don’t compare themselves to others

How can you truly value your worth if you are constantly worrying about others or trying to be like them? Comparison is a dark and dangerous path that NEVER ends up positive, my friends. We all compare ourselves to others from time to time, but when it becomes an unhealthy addiction, it is devastating to your self-esteem and self-worth. If I asked you if you could trade lives with someone, would you do it? Most likely not- because if so, you would not have the same family, the same job you love, etc. So why do we as a society constantly scrutinize our lives and compare ourselves to the lives of others? Read this to further help you break the comparison cycle.

… Have come to peace that they are ENOUGH, just the way they are

People who value their worth know that they are ENOUGH. And they understand that the people who truly love them will ALWAYS love them, just the way they are. They don’t feel pressured to change anything about themselves because they love themselves.

… Live their life according to their own standards

People who love themselves live their life according to their own values and what they feel is of value to them. They follow through with their passions and don’t ever let anyone tell them to live their life differently. They know the importance of putting themselves first at times. They have the courage to pave their own way and keep their head held high despite if they are not always pleasing everyone.

Self-love is a journey. It can be hard to love ourselves at times, but we need to hold ourselves in the highest regard despite troubling times when we feel un-loveable.

How do you practice self-love? What has your self-acceptance journey been like?

Love yo-selves, friends.

Xoxo,

  • This is great advice, Chelsea!

    • Thanks so much :) Hope you find it useful! BTW what is your website URL again? Keep trying to find it!

  • Chelsea! I love your advice! :) That is why I nominated your blog for an award! I hope you’ll express yourself more! :)

    https://shadebutnoshade.wordpress.com/2015/04/23/shades-first-versatile-blogger-award/

    • Aw Karen! Thanks so much sweetie! I am so honored and humbled!

  • These are good words, my friend! This is hard to do — it’s amazing how many times per day I catch myself doing negative self-talk — but it’s so, so important. Great tips!

    • Thanks so much! I feel like loving ourselves is just a continuous journey. Some days it’s harder than others :)

  • Yes, yes and yes. Especially about comparison. This is so critical and hard.

    • That’s what I really used to struggle on. I feel that I have gotten so much better with it, but it still can be hard :) Just know that you are not alone!

  • I love this so much! Thank you for the beautiful words on a day when I really needed to read them.

    • AW! I’m so glad I could be a help today!

  • This is a great list, thank you for sharing! It’s not always easy to do these things though… always good to remind ourselves though. xx

    • Exactly. It’s definitely easier said than done! I’m always trying to work on it:)

  • I think the comparison to other people is the hardest for me! I am always look at what other people have accomplished and I constantly wonder about why I haven’t accomplished these things as well! Great advice!

    • Same with me, Tricia. I think it’s hard on everybody. We are only human :) I think what matters is how we attempt to handle our insecurities. Just remember that everyone tries to make their life look so much better than it really is on social media :)

  • This awesome totally agree

    • Chelsea

      Thanks so much!

  • … No longer feel pressured to be perfect

    You are spot on there!!! It’s so hard not to fall into this trap though of seeking perfection in every aspect of your life! Awesome post! Thanks for sharing!

    • Thanks so much for your kind words and for reading! I think everybody struggles with this at times.

  • Beautifully written! I’m striving to be my best self right now! I’m actually trying to eat healthier and have an exercise routine. I do find myself comparing myself to my favorite celebrities from time to time but I remind myself that my worth is in Christ. We’re all beautiful and made in His image so when we doubt who we are, it’s like telling God He made a mistake!

    Again, awesome post love!
    http://adornedinarmor.com

    • Thank you so much for reading! I’m glad that you know your self worth. We are all beautiful in our own ways!! <3

  • Kate

    This blog post has such a perfect message, and I love all of your tips on how to love ourselves a little more. I practice all of these in my daily life. It’s a struggle sometimes, but I’m learning to love and respect myself a little more with each passing day. Thank you, Chelsea!

    • Chelsea

      Thanks so much Kate for reading and commenting! I struggle with it too sometimes. It’s always a working progress :)

  • So glad I came accross your blog! What a beautiful message!!! It is hard at times to love ourselves when we have so many other opinions being thrown at us from other people. It is so true that in order to love another you have to love yourself first.

    • Chelsea

      Agreed. It’s something I am continuously working on. Thanks so much for the read!

  • Gemma LouLou Keith

    So glad I read this post, it’s lovely! I struggle with this myself but I am definitely getting their… the tips are great! x

    • Chelsea

      I think we all struggle at times…it’s a never ending journey :)

  • Aishwarya

    Great points stated. If we can’t love ourselves then we really can’t share the love with anyone else. Good write-up. :)

    • Chelsea

      Thank you so much :)

  • Lindsay Katherine

    This was a very inspiring post- I’ve been overwhelmed with going back to work next month, blogging, and being a mom, and I needed this time to step back and give myself a little love.

    • Chelsea

      Thanks for reading, Lindsay. Best of luck in all of your endeavors! Remember during all of that to try and take time for yourself :)

  • chall1018

    This is such a good read! We definitely need to love ourselves and to always remember there is grace when we fall short.

    • Chelsea

      Exactly. Sometimes, we just need to put our well-being first! We are just as important as the others in our lives.

  • Such a wonderful post. I have to admit I’m better at this some days than others. It’s important to remind yourself of these 6 things as often as possible.

    xxox

    • Chelsea

      Thanks so much for reading, Laura!

  • Tracy Laxton

    Self-love is so important and much more significant in practice than “esteem”. This post is a great encouragement to live genuinely.

    • Chelsea

      I wrote it to help myself. Hopefully it inspires others to do the same. Thanks, Tracy!

  • These are all spot on, Chelsea! Thank you for sharing your heart – truly a wonderful post and word. We can all always be improving on self love. I sure needed to read this. Thanks girl!

    • Chelsea

      Glad it could help, Summer!

  • Heather Serra

    This couldn’t have come at a better time for me. This is really good advice. It’s so important to show ourselves the same kindness we would give to a good friend.

    • Chelsea

      Really glad to have had you read these words during a trying time. Remember to be kind to yourself!

  • Kate Kryder

    Thanks for these always important reminders!

    • Chelsea

      Thanks for reading, Kate!

  • Dayne Prescott

    We ARE enough just the way we are! What a great post and reminder about self love! Thanks Chelsea!

    • Chelsea

      Exactly. We are enough!

  • Mandi

    such a wonderful reminder to cut ourselves a little slack <3

    • Chelsea

      We all need it sometimes :)

  • Perfectionism is definitely something that can wear and tear you down because the reality of the matter is, you are never going to be perfect. I struggled with that for a while because I have a thing for making people happy. I don’t like to disappoint. After living life, I’ve come to the realization that you’re never going to be able to make everybody happy. But you sure can do your darnedest to try. :-) Thank you so much for sharing this!

    • Chelsea

      You have no idea. I’ve especially been dealing with this lately..it’s just a continuous journey that I am always on, and I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one out there right now who feels the same way. I definitely struggle with trying to make people happy as well; sometimes so much that I put others before myself when I shouldn’t. Thanks, Taylor :)

  • kayla

    This is great! I definitely give the “you cant make anyone else happy until you are happy,” advice all the time!

    • Chelsea

      Thanks for reading, Kayla!

  • Fantastic post! I’ve been trying hard to work on this over the past year and it has definitely helped my happiness.

    • Chelsea

      Same here, Liz. Hope you find inner peace :)

  • I feel like I read this post before, but reading it again makes me think about the last couple months and where I am now. I truly believe that in order to actually live a happy life, you have to first be able to make yourself happy. Then, others can bring happiness to you

    • Chelsea

      So true. It’s always a working progress! Thanks for reading, girl!

  • Ashleigh

    Self love is so important! I always try to make time for myself, though, not always easy. Working out seems to be the way I give self love. Great post!

    • Chelsea

      Same here, Ashleigh. Been struggling lately but working on it!!

  • Thanks for sharing these important pointers!

    • Chelsea

      Thanks for reading, Michelle!

  • That first point is so so so true. People need to realize in order to be happy is to be happy with themselves first and that no one or any thing will make them happy until they are happy with themselves first. It’s the same thing with loving someone else. yOu cannot truly love someone else until you love yourself.

    liz @ sundays with sophie

    • Yes! I’m so happy you see this, Liz!

  • Hil D

    Those are great tips. I find it super hard NOT to compare myself to other’s though and have it bring me down. A personal goal to work on……

    • Good for you in trying to at least stop the negative thoughts. That can be a battle in itself!

  • Lindsay Katherine

    I read this post four months ago right before I was going back to work after the summer off and after having Ginny; it helped me so much during that time, and revisiting it months later, I still find joy and motivation in your words.

    • Aw Lindsay!! Thank you so much for telling me that! You made my night. I appreciate you as a loyal and thoughtful reader more than you’ll ever know!! xo

  • Hannah

    Finding this post couldn’t have come at a better time. I’ve been dealing with horrible depression and this exact lack of self-loving. I’m trying so hard to get back to the girl I was before I felt this way, because it’s tearing me apart and it’s affecting my relationship as well. Thank you for your self improvement posts.

    • Hi Hannah, I’m really sorry to hear that you are dealing with depression. I hope things get better for you! I truly believe that loving yourself is a healthy first step. Take time for yourself. Be kind. Treat yourself how you would treat others; with respect. You can do this; I believe in you! xo

  • Maj Iel

    Hi Chels, Thank you so much for this inspiration, everything will comes into place if loving ourselves first, before someone else. Keep it up sis. More blessings.

    • Of course! Happy you enjoyed!! XO