How To Pick Your Bridesmaids | Inspiration Indulgence

It’s wedding season, lovelies!

I don’t know about you, but I LOVE weddings! I don’t think that there is anything more beautiful than seeing two people in love commit to each other for the rest of their lives. If you’re anything like me, then you’ve been basically planning your wedding your entire life. For women, our wedding day is our ONE chance to be a princess! Therefore, we try everything in our power to make the day go perfectly. Duh. Haven’t you seen our Pinterest boards?

Picking the women who you want by your side to share your special day with is a huge decision! These women will have the honor to witness you make a special commitment for the rest of your life. However, picking bridesmaids can be stressful, when it really shouldn’t be! Sometimes there is a lot of drama and politics that come with it, when you should truly just be focusing on the marriage itself.

So how do you know who to include in your wedding party? Lucky for you, I wrote you a handy guide on how to choose your bridesmaids that will make the task easier for you. Even if you’re not getting married anytime soon, this is still good to know information!

General Rules

The first rule is. . . that there ARE no rules!! This is YOUR wedding, feel free to do whatever makes you happy. This day is all about YOU, after all!

The number of bridesmaids doesn’t matter. No number is too small or too large. If you only feel that there are three important women in your life, there is nothing wrong with having a small wedding party.  Likewise, if you want to have 15 bridesmaids, then all the power to you!

Don’t worry about hurting feelings. Your true friends will understand that you can only have so many bridesmaids and will see you at the wedding anyways! You may feel pressure from people to include them in your wedding party, but remember that this is ultimately your decision.

Who You Should Pick

Pick women who truly support your marriage. These ladies should love you and your husband-to-be unconditionally and want the absolute best for you. You don’t want to be standing on the altar and feel judged or unsure if your friends are happy for you. This is your special day, and you deserve the right to feel comfortable. If you are on the fence about someone to ask as a bridesmaid because you don’t know how true of a friend she is, chances are that she isn’t the best choice.

Pick women who know you better than anyone else. Friends, roommates, sisters, cousins, future-sister-in-laws. These are the ones who have been by your side through thick and thin; the ones that you know you can always call in the middle of the night for anything.

Who You Shouldn’t Pick

Don’t include someone who you haven’t talked to in like 5 years. How awkward are those weddings where the bride has to practically scavenge for bridesmaids. Just because someone was your best friend 10 years ago doesn’t necessarily guarantee them a spot in your wedding. Your bridesmaids should be women that you will keep in contact with during your marriage for support and friendship. You need to be sure that you can still call these women 10 years down the road for marital advice!

Don’t include someone who won’t be around to help you with your wedding planning. If you want to include a friend that lives across the country or someone who just had a baby, then may have their hands full. If you feel like you are a burden to their busy lives, perhaps you should go with someone else for your bridal party.

The bottom line is that this is your special day, so tailor it to what you want! Have fun and try not to stress too much. :) Remember, your wedding day is about the marriage itself, not the party. When it is all said and done, it’s just one day of your life. You only get one wedding, so be sure to pick a bridal party of women that unconditionally love and cherish your friendship.

If you’d like to get additional wedding ideas/add to your lovely Pinterest board, check out my Wedding board here.

Do you have any other ideas about how to choose your bridesmaids? Leave me some suggestions in the comments below. Happy Tuesday!

Xoxo,

P.S. Need help planning your wedding? Check out this planner, which has been my ultimate LIFESAVER!!!

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  • Great article! The only other point I would add is WAIT until at least 6 months before your wedding. I got excited and asked girls who I was really close to at the time, almost straight after I got engaged. Weddings bring out funny things in people and out of 3, only 1 original girl I asked (my MOH) is left. One is not even coming to my wedding and the other has turned out to be quite selfish and left me with a £100 bridesmaids dress and her bouquet as she decided last week (4 months before my wedding) that she no longer wanted to be a bridesmaid!

    • Oh my goodness!!!! That is awful, and I can’t imagine how stressed out you were! I’m so sorry you had to go through all that drama!! Great advice, and thanks for reading Dani!

  • You have a great looking blog! It’s nice to meet you, I came over from the pitch party

    • Aw thank you so much!! I’ll be sure to check out yours as well :) xo Great to connect!!

  • The dilemma I had with bridesmaids was that there were too many sisters! I have one sister and he has two, but I am closer with my friends (four of them) than with any of the sisters. I couldn’t have a huge wedding party to due to space issues where we were having the ceremony. It caused me a lot of stress. I wanted my friends there with me, but I felt like I couldn’t leave out the sisters. What we ended up doing was putting my sister and my friends on my side and his sisters with his friends on his side. The sides were pretty much even and everyone was included…phew!!

    • Oh lord!! That sounds so complicated! I’m not married yet but it will happen soon in the near future. I have a dilemma as well..I have two sisters, and I have no idea who I’ll choose for maid of honor! I’ve seen people have matrons of honor so I guess that’s always an option but that seems sort of silly to me..and I don’t want to choose a friend over my sisters because I would feel awful! Thanks so much for reading.

  • Awesome points! I shall remember to re-read this when the time comes to pick my bridesmaids. Oh… PS: I found your blog through the Blog Pitch Party.

    • Aw yay! Thanks so much for reading, I’m glad you found me! I’ll be sure to check out your blog as well:) Great to get in touch!

  • Love this article! I agree with Dani, weddings definitely bring out the funny in people! One of the women I asked to be a part of my bridal party (MOH actually) was someone that I had been close with at the time. Had been in contact throughout, no issues, no fights or anything of the sort, then the day of the bridal shower she just sort of disappeared. No phone call (or answer), didn’t show up, never heard from her again. I had actually been worried that something had happened to her until she showed up at another friends house the next day saying some nonsense about thinking that my Mom had it out for her.Thank goodness for the one that I should have asked to be MOH from the beginning, she really is the best! Definitely choose your ladies with caution, weddings definitely show peoples true crazy!

    • Oh my goodness! That’s just crazy!! Your story hasn’t been the first I’ve heard about dramatic episodes involving the wedding party! Thanks for reading!!

  • Such great advice! I came to read the post because I was on the fence on who to have in my bridal party. I love what you wrote about not being too worried about hurt feelings. I’m always thinking about peoples feelings getting hurt but at the end of the day its my wedding! so thanks for this!

    • Aw I’m so glad you came across this and I’m SO thrilled to hear that it actually was useful for you!! Remember- it’s YOUR wedding! :) Best of luck!!

  • Charlotte Marie Whitehead

    True. I had 2 bridesmaids at mine. Thanks for sharing!!

    • Chelsea

      Thanks for reading!

  • MrsBarBelle

    Love this! Wish I had seen it when I was picking mine, it was a bit of a debacle but it all worked out =)

    • Chelsea

      Oh no!! What was your debacle?!

      • MrsBarBelle

        Oh heavens, I had three women bail and it was awful. And so then I stopped doing what I was suppose to do… And it all worked out.

  • Sarah

    Good tips. I only had two bridesmaids and feel good about that. When I’ve heard about the struggles that other people have had it does seem to be about including too many people who are not as excited to be in the wedding.

    • Chelsea

      Exactly. I think it’s important to only pick the people who would stand by you and take a bullet for you if need be!

  • Good advice! You shouldn’t have to worry about what other people think on the most magical day of your life!

    • Chelsea

      Right?!!!

  • Great advice! We are planning our wedding now (well… we’ve decided on a location and year) and I think I know who I want to be my bridesmaid, but one of my friends kind of assumed that she would be and made things awkward because how do I now not ask her?! But reading through these tips definitely gives me the confidence to choose exactly who I want!

    • Chelsea

      Ahhh I feel like that is the most difficult situation you can come across. I think it’s best just to do what you feel is right…if she is your true friend, she will understand and not be upset :)

  • This is all great advice. Picking my 3 was a piece of cake, they’re the 3 whom i’m closest to, other than my own Mom. They’re also the ones I can still see being a part of my life 5, 10, 30 years from now so I know I won’t look back on my wedding pictures with regrets. :)

    • Chelsea

      Good for you, Leslie! I’m so happy that you are three amazing women in your life that you wholeheartedly trust.

  • Lindsay Katherine

    Great advice- I feel that brides feel pressured to ask someone ‘because they should’ or because they were in their wedding 5 years ago, but that’s not the case!
    Lindsay http://www.itssimplylindsay.com

    • Chelsea

      Exactly. It’s YOUR wedding day!!

  • Aishwarya

    Good ones there! I have different traditions in my country but I love your weddings a lot too. :)

    • Chelsea

      What are your traditions, and where are you from? :)

  • I picked some bridesmaids who I knew wouldn’t be able to help with the wedding planning, and likely wouldn’t be able to even attend the shower and bachelorette party. I did all of the planning myself and actually didn’t ask for any help from the bridesmaids. But we also had a pretty low-maintenance wedding!

    • Chelsea

      My mom always said that smaller weddings are the way to go. She said if she could do have a “do over,” she would have had hers smaller. :)

  • Yes! I picked girls that I already had a history with and whom I knew would be my lifelong friends. I had two out-of-town bridesmaids, so they couldn’t help quite as much with showers and hands-on stuff, but they were still a huge help with planning (especially as a sounding board for me!). I couldn’t agree more with choosing women who support your marriage. That’s the whole point! It’s nice to have the extra help, but truly, I think the bridal is meant to be made up of the people who will speak life and truth into the marriage they’re standing up for.

    • Chelsea

      So true. I’m not married yet, but when the day comes, I want to feel 100% supported.

  • Bethany Magnie

    Good article!! I think I’ll have a pretty small wedding part when the time comes :)

    • Chelsea

      I have no idea what the size of my wedding will be some day. I’ve always wanted a bigger wedding, but my mom always told me to go with a smaller one because it’s more personalized!

  • I love that you made sure to say it’s YOUR wedding. It’s hard to plan something that involves so many people without forgetting why you’re planning it: for yourself! I tried to keep that in mind for our planning!

    • Chelsea

      Exactly! The day should really be only about you and your significant other!!

  • Love this post, Chelsea! You’re completely spot on. My husband and I originally wanted to each have 5, which was no problem picking for us. Unfortunately, I had to tell someone she couldn’t be a bridesmaid anymore a month and a half before the wedding because she wasn’t being a real friend to me. It was hard to do and I wish it never came to that, but I won’t be walked all over. It sucked because she planned a cute lingere party for me and all, but wedding aside, I wasn’t being treated like a true friend. Okay now for my point, haha. Make sure who you pick really will be there for you no matter what – through thick and thin, the good and the ugly.

    • Chelsea

      Aw I’m so sorry that happened to you, girl. I’m glad you had the courage to be kind to yourself and make the RIGHT decision. <3 Thank you for reading!