How To Stop Comparing Yourself to Others | Inspiration Indulgence

Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” We do it every day. We do it at work. We do it watching TV. We do it scrolling through Facebook. We do it in class. We do it lying in bed late at night. We are constantly comparing ourselves to other people, diminishing our self-worth and putting ourselves down. “I wish I had his job.” “If only my body looked half as good as hers.” “I wish I could afford a new car.” “I wish I was engaged.”

Enough is enough. You are slowly killing yourself.

The truth is, even the most confident people in the world compare themselves to others from time to time. It’s a normal occurrence. Even that person with the seemingly perfect life has compared themselves at one point to someone else.

But do you let yourself get out of hand? If so, it’s time for you to make some changes.

Step 1: Practice self-acceptance

There is always going to be someone out there who has something that you admire and/or desire. But if you are constantly focused on a facet of someone else that you wish for and are dwelling on personal dispositions that you don’t have, you are spiraling down a dark and dangerous path, my friend. Not to mention that you are completely blind to seeing how special you are. Comparison is another word for insecurity; it’s time to accept yourself for who you are and to beat that insecurity. You deserve self-love, and you owe it to yourself to embrace what makes you beautiful and unique, both on the inside and out.

Step 2: Be happy with what you have

When it boils down to it, comparison stems from the process of being unhappy with what we don’t have. We always want MORE; whether it’s a better car, more friends, more money, or heck, more people to like us. We easily get jealous if we see that somebody has something that we don’t have, and we think that we are not as good as that person because of it. Once we start focusing on what we do have rather than what we don’t have, we are one step closer to self-acceptance. Sooner than later, you won’t CARE about what others have, because you will be happy with what you have. Your confidence will radiate and people will naturally be attracted to you because you are so happy in your own skin.

Step 3: Focus your energy elsewhere

What is causing you this unhealthy addiction? Find the root of the problem and steer clear from it until you feel that you are strong enough to make some personal changes. Perhaps you may need to cut yourself off from Facebook for a few days, or possibly weeks. Maybe making these changes includes distancing yourself from people who focus too much on what other people think. Whatever the cause, focus your energy on something more positive. Do things that make you feel GOOD about yourself. Plant a garden. Re-furnish your house. Take your kids to the park. Stop thinking so much about things that really don’t matter! Which brings me to the next point.

Step 4: Surround yourself with people who lift you up

Sometimes the root of the problem is that we forget our self-worth for the time being. Surround yourself with people who will make you feel good about yourself. Your family and true friends will love you no matter what you look like, what your job is, and how much money you have. You need these positive influences to keep yourself grounded when you have these negative thoughts circling in your head. Sometimes, we just need to be reminded by those who love us of our self-worth.

And lastly, but most importantly…

Step 5: Love yourself, flaws and all

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Realize that you are never going to be perfect, and that nobody is. Love yourself for who you are. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself a break at times. And above all, remember that there is nobody quite like you in this world, and that’s what makes you so beautiful.

I know that this journey is easier said than done.  To assure you that everybody compares themselves to others from time to time, I’ll share with you a personal example of my struggles. When I was in college, it took me 4.5 years to graduate. In reality, this isn’t a long period of time at all. But when all of my friends were graduating and I had to wait another semester, it seemed like the end of the world. Friends all around me were accepting their first “real” jobs, getting into med school, getting into Master’s programs, buying a brand new vehicle, and buying homes. I pitied myself and was bitter that I was still stuck waitressing, could barely afford groceries, and wondering if I would ever get the hell out of college so I could make some money.

When I was comparing my life to others, it stole more happiness of mine than I should have ever let it. I found myself jealous of friends, which made me feel like an absolute jerk. I knew that if I truly wanted to be happy, I needed to change my frame of mind and stop comparing my life to others. Since I have made that decision, I have been so much happier. But I am also human. I get insecure at times and I let these insecurities get the best of me. But despite these roadblocks, I know my self-worth. I try to stop myself when I realize that I am comparing myself to others and think of a characteristic that I have unique to myself that I love. This has been a continuing journey and not something that has always easy for me.

I truly believe that I have come a long way, and I know that you can too.

Stop the habit. Break the cycle. KNOW YOUR SELF-WORTH. I believe in you all. But do you believe in yourself?

Xoxo,

 

  • Just what I needed to read today! Great post :)

  • I was just thinking about this idea a couple weeks ago. It’s so easy to compare ourselves to others. And when we have to social media, it can be that much more difficult to focus on our own self worth.

    Just know that you’re not the only one. I think almost everyone has felt this way at some point.

    • Thanks Rebecca! Great minds think alike. I think you are absolutely correct..everyone does it. I can recall many times where social media made me feel crappy about myself but you have to put in perspective that everyone tries to boast up their lives online. It’s a journey that I still struggle with but I think I’ve improved so much lately. Thanks for reading again :)

      • You’re welcome! Social media definitely makes it easy to brag about the things going right in our lives and hide our flaws. It can be discouraging when scrolling through and seeing what people post, but we have to make sure to not let it affect us too much.

  • I used to do this so much, i just couldnt help it i was always comparing myself to others and it took me a while to realise that thatis what was making me miserable, so in change to be happier ive decided to stop comparing myself to others! I love that you were able to write something so relateable and interesting :)

    • Thank you so much for taking the time to read! I am glad I was able to write something that hit a personal note for you…I know it is a personal struggle and ongoing journey of mine as well so I thought I would share. Agreed, once you take the initiative to stop allowing yourself to compare to others, life is much more positive. Best of luck to you. :)

      • No problem! And I’m glad you shared it it’s nice to know that people out there feel the same way! And yeah life to short to waste it being miserable! Thankyou :)

      • 100% agree girl! And by the looks of your picture, you shouldn’t be comparing yourself to anyone because you are beautiful. Life is DEFINITELY too short to wish you had someone else’s life. :) I’ll be sure to check out your blog after work! Have a great day!!

      • Awh thankyou that is soo kind! You’re stunning yourself! And yes very true! And awh thank you so much, I love reading your stuff so that means a lot :)

      • You are too sweet!

  • An eye opener post,to ponder about.Have a nice day.

  • A true-to-life post, well written and uplifting. I still remember worrying about my friends in college when they told me that their graduation semester would be different than mine. But I stopped comparing and started being thankful for our moments together!

    • Thank you! I sincerely appreciate your comment and taking the time to read my post. This is something that I have been working on for a while now and I’m hoping to inspire others along my journey. I look forward to your posts in the future and I hope you have a wonderful Friday!!

  • SO true! And for heaven’s sake, don’t compare yourself to ANYONE you see in a magazine. Hubby works for an advertising agency; I’ve watched him (and colleagues) create pictures out of a montage of 4+ photos…and make a normal chick “skinny” to the client’s specs. None of it’s real. Except maybe the spread of Jamie Lee Curtis a few years back; she (per the article) required that to stay untouched.

    • Thanks so much for taking the time to read my post! I completely agree…most of the stuff we see on social media and the media in general is so fake. People obviously will put their lives in the best absolute light possible, which I am guilty of doing as well.
      Go Jamie Lee Curtis!! I knew I always liked her.
      Have a great weekend!

  • Thank you for this insightful post. I do this all too often, and not only do comparisons tax your mental health, but your physical health as well. I got rid of my Facebook to try and alleviate the problem, but I noticed it carried over to other places, like work and even the most casual encounters. You can’t change certain things about yourself. But what are some things about you that you like? I had to ask myself this. And I had to focus on those things, improving myself, growing stronger. And I felt better. Dwelling on the past and unreasonable comparisons that aren’t in any way beneficial to you are dangerous. Acknowledging that comparing doesn’t really get you where you need to be helps a lot.

    • Thank you so much for the read and for comment back! I really appreciate your honestly. I think there is not one person in the world who has compared their lives to others. I think you have the right idea and attitude going about it though..when you focus on the facets of yourself that you LOVE, you tend to think less about the facets that you wish you had.
      Have a wonderful weekend!

  • Great post, and great reminder! We are all guilty of this at some point in time.

  • Thank You for the reminder!! Reminders are always good! It’s great how you shared your own experience, I usually find that when people are open and honest and share their own experiences, it’s even more inspiring and shows “realness” and wisdom by people who really understand and can be a positive example, how we can use our experiences and struggles to learn, deepen our wisdom, and help others.
    I do this, sometimes relentlessly, comparing myself to others, not just specific people I know but even how I just think people “in general” are. I’m usually happy and confident and thankful for right Now and all that I have/am but sometimes my confidence falters and I sink into the darkness of negative comparison and ungratefulness.
    Sometimes I would even be happy with my current situation, no problems, but I would get to thinking how things “should be” or “could have been” by now or what “everyone else” has or is doing and create problems for myself.
    It took me six years to get out of college. I loved the University and learning and the people I knew and I wasn’t very stressed over the work usually, and found college to be fun so there were no problems that way but I just often kept thinking how it “should” be different. I “should” have graduated in four years like “everyone else” or “normal” people. So it wasn’t even my external environment itself that wasn’t good that contributed to me wanting to be done, it was completely my whole idea, inside, of what things should be for myself.
    Sometimes our environment may really not be good and sometimes it’s all our perception of how it “could,” “should,” or “would” have been but either way if we embrace what we have and are in this moment, it will be so much better! We can accept our current lives while still working to change for the better.
    I found that it helps as soon as I catch myself comparing myself in a negative way to others, to think of at least three positive things about myself and I encourage others to do the same. Like you said, comparison once in a while is normal but it’s dangerous to let it get out of hand.
    I write about things like this often. And I love reading about things like this written by others.
    We have the ability to change our attitudes and perceptions of ourselves and our lives. Great post!! 😀

    • Oh my goodness, thank you SO MUCH for the well-thought out and kind post! I am so happy that you took the time to read what I had to say and provided feedback with your own thoughts and experiences. Yes, I like to add “realness” and “honestly” in my posts because otherwise…who am I to “give advice”?? I only trust people if I know that they went through the same or similar situation themselves! Definitely agree with you…comparing ourselves is completely normal but when it gets to the point that it runs your life and you question your current happiness..we need to change something. You are sooo right…sometimes I find myself “happy” but then I see someone else’s life and thing, “I wish I had that..” It’s so fake…happiness should be in our own terms. We can’t have everything. AND WE HAVE THE POWER TO BE HAPPY!! It’s a beautiful thing…so many times people overestimate the value of a positive attitude. Thanks for the comment again, and I look forward to reading your posts!!

  • Yup, I am doing all of these things. It’s sad and nice to know at the same time that this is happening to so many others… Self awareness is the first step :)

    • Definitely. I think that it is a normal occurrence…yet it is so damaging that it needs to be stopped! You hit it right on the head..awareness is the first step!! I hope you have a wonderful, positive rest of your day :)

  • This post caught my eye, since TR’s quote is one of my favorites, because it is so true. Thank you for posting. Can’t wait to read more of your posts!

  • Thank you so much! I love this quote is well. I truly believe that every single person can relate to it. I’ll be sure to check out your blog as well! I have a good, deep post in the works that I think you might enjoy..:)

  • I love this! It has taken me nearly all my life to realize this and start being okay with myself. Today I am pretty happy with who I am. I still have moments of comparison but they are few and easily overcome.

    • Thanks for the read and the compliment! I have had problems with this as well, but it is an ongoing journey. I think we all have bad days and good days :) as long as we continue to grow and value ourselves, everything will be okay. I’m glad you are happy with the person you are! Have a great Tuesday :)

  • Love Your Blog!

  • Absolutely love this post. Thank you for the gentle reminder 😉 Will get busy reading the rest of posts now :)

    • Thank you so much for reading :) This post was near and dear to my heart because it is something I have always struggled with, but I definitely think I have made great improvements!

  • I loved this post. Everything you said is completely true! I know when I used to wish I had what others had I became very bitter, things were not going my way and I myself was not happy. I totally re-evaluated my life and now I realized those people I have envied ( not that I wished anything upon them) aren’t happy at all with their lives. They replace things they don’t need for happiness. I know I really have a lot going for me and I know what truly makes me happy. Thanks for sharing!

    • Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful comment, and for reading! So true. A lot of people try to boast to make their lives look better than they really are. I can truly say that I feel much happier now that I am off of social media less and focus on what I do have. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart, I am not just saying that. I used to have a real problem with comparing myself to others and now I really don’t as much.

  • This is so true. Comparison really is the thief of joy. I have to sometimes take a break from social media so that I don’t feel less then. But I’ve found that I need to be content and thankful for what I have and not worry about what others do.

    • I’m glad you realize this and you’ve taken an action step! :) Thanks for reading!

  • So true! This is something I struggle with and this was a great reminder! Thanks for posting!

    • Thanks for reading, Sandy! I think it is something that we all struggle with.

  • I am so guilty of comparing, and it’s so bad. I care way too much about what others think. I wish I didn’t, and I know it really doesn’t matter. But it kind of does.

    • I think we all do- don’t be so hard on yourself! :)

  • So true! All we can be is ourselves, so it does us no good to compare.

  • I do this all the time to myself and I need to stop. I am constantly comparing myself to someone skinnier or someone prettier and I don’t know why. I am happy with the way I look, of course there are things I would like to change but I am working on not comparing myself to other people so much.

    • We all do it, Ashley! It’s good that you are aware of it and are overall happy with yourself. :)

  • So true! We are the only ones who can break the cycle of comparison for ourselves — no one else can do it for us. Thanks for this timely reminder!

  • I love this post and it IS such a great reminder for everyone!

  • I absolutely love your blog post title graphic! Did you create it? It looks amazing! You have really great writing skills! :)

  • This is a really important skill to have! I think the main reason I don’t struggle with comparison is that I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I’d rather deal with my own struggles than anyone else’s struggles!

    • Chelsea

      That’s an excellent and thought-provoking point. We think our problems are so large when really, sometimes we are lucky to have our own problems and not someone elses’. Thanks for reading!

  • Lindsay Katherine

    Chels, what an inspiring post!! I love your point about getting to the root of your problem instead of trying to just mask the issue on the surface. Of course all of this is easier said than done, as you said, but I don’t think that means you don’t try. Everyone should read this, print it, and read your tips every day!

    • Aw thank you Lindsay! This was one of my first blog posts but a subject that I am very passionate about.